Best Video Games Ever?

I’m not into video games. But if the video game has cute girls you tease, I’m willing to reconsider my position.

After my girlfriend and I discovered the Puff! application for iPhone, I can’t tell you how many hours we’ve spent blowing up the skirts of cute girls. Now there’s a brand new one called Puff! Premium that adds more models and more panchira fun. Anyways, it’s loads of fun and never gets boring at parties…

If the 3 VIDEO LINKS above weren’t enough, here’s the PUFF! Official CM:


But I’m hear to talk about something much more nerdy than blowing up hotties’ skirts. Oh yes.

For the legions of otaku who can’t get girlfriends, there is a brand new video game coming out next month (Feb 2010) called “REAL KANOJO.” The name means “Real Girlfriend” and of course is nothing like a real girlfriend in the very least – but if this is as close to the real thing as you can get, then good for you – because REAL KANOJO might still be loads of fun… because… well… you can touch her, poke her, squeeze her and basically annoy her in any way you want to and she’ll never ever say “no.” Or even if she did, why would you listen? She’s not really a real kanojo, just a bunch of silly code, right? Right.

The premise, so far as I can tell is, you meet an overly well-endowed 19 year old girl on the beach named Ai. This is a common girl’s name in Japan and can often be written with the kanji for love. It also looks like AI = Artificial Intelligence. Ooooh, those crafty programmers. From there, you can have long talks with her on the beach, watch her roll around in the sand, frolic in the water, jump on the bed, play with her boobs and (according to what she says in the demo, you can have sex with her). And let’s face it, nobody’s gonna spend much time chatting her up with you can get straight to the boobs. And if you are the romantic type… well… alright then. Carry on.

Anyhoo, I’m sure a lot of uptight people will say this is so degrading to women. But if you take that approach, isn’t it also degrading to the guys who have no other recourse but this? There. It’s a double whammy. Degrading to women in general, and degrading to the loser who really thinks it is his “real kanojo.” lol

However, I don’t believe most people who buy this will think it is their “real kanojo.” I mean, come on, there are loads of horny people out there. Hell in Japanese they even have a cute word for people who are a little more obsessed with sex than the average joe, ero-ero. See? Sounds cute. Now you can be a pervert and not carry with you all the baggage that comes with it in sexually repressive societies like America.

My girlfriend is totally down with silly stuff like this, so when I showed her a demo on YouTube the other day, she was like “I wanna try it!” Now, I’m down for getting it, too… but this is a PC only game (as far as I know). So I think I’ll pass on it.

Why?

Because like Puff!, this game would go over big at parties or at the bar or whenever you’re just bored waiting for the train with your friends. A portable version for my Nintendo DS is where it’s at!!!

Here’s the trailer for REAL KANOJO (thanks to News Junkie)

Here’s the Official Demo:

Two goof balls messing around with their trial version:

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Vocab:


あい

ai

1) love
2) a common girl’s given name

彼女
かのじょ

kanojo

girlfriend

パンチラ
pan-chira

showing underwear.
this word is an abbreviation of
パンツをちらり which means “to catch a glimpse of someone’s panties.” this is also called “PM” in japanese which is a romanized acronym for パンツ見える “her panties are showing.
in a country where short skirts are everywhere and crowded train stations have plenty of stairs and elevators, you can see why these phrases are culturally significant. Lol.

オタク
otaku

short definition:
a nerd or geek.
in the context of this article, it refers to a nerdy japanese subculture obsessed with video games, manga, anime, and collecting dolls. although it’s generally looked down upon by mainstream society, it’s actually quite a massive market and responsible for many quirky aspects of pop culture today in japan.

エロエロ
ero-ero

oversexed, a little dirty
(derives from the english word Eros or erotic; but has been doubled up to sound cute)

awwwwwwww yeah!
mαrky( -_-)凸

4 thoughts on “Best Video Games Ever?

  1. You rip on otaku relentlessly…

    And yet your sympathetic to them.

    What’s your angle, Mr. Star? Are you for us or against us?

    admit it! YOU LOVE IT!!!!

    HAHAHAHAHHAA

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